What a difference a year makes!

I recently decided to re-read a book I read about a year ago, titled “Every Woman’s Battle” by Shannon Ethridge. It’s one of several similarly-named books. (“Every Man’s Battle” was the first, and this one, “Every Young Man’s Battle”, “Every Young Woman’s Battle”, etc. came out subsequently.) I have recommended it to quite a few people, and I’ve even purchased the applicable book for a couple of friends to give them as gifts. I decided to read it again, because I wanted to remember some of the specific things she had said in the book, and I was glad that I did. The thing that struck me, though, was the fact that my perspective this time was completely different than the perspective I had a year ago. There were several portions of the book that I had underlined last year that didn’t mean much to me this time, and there were others that I underlined this time that hadn’t hit me as significant, previously. I was amazed at the difference in my spiritual life, in retrospect. I was excited by the growth I’ve experienced. I was saddened by my past thought- and spiritual- life, and I am extremely grateful for the grace God gives us in our brokenness.

Something I found myself pondering was this: Our brokenness, sinfulness, filth, unfaithfulness, and all of the worst parts of us are not revealed to us in their entirety, all at once. I am VERY glad about this, because I think that, had all of my misery hit me at once, I would have been crushed by the weight of it all.

Instead, God chooses to enlighten us in pieces. He allows us to work through/past all our painful experiences and choices in shards, and when we’re ready for the next piece, it’s revealed—in HIS time. This is a blessing of immeasurable worth~ that God knows our weaknesses and our humanity and He makes concessions for the limits we carry. He could choose to just strike us down in our sin, our pride, our pain, but instead He lovingly holds us until the sobs and the lashing out and the bitterness subside. All He asks is that we step ever closer to the image of Christ in ourselves, and never does He chide us for not being where we think we should be on that path. Instead, He offers us all the love in existence, in each moment of each day, no matter where it finds us, and He allows us to be romanced by our Creator at the speed our frail forms can handle.

Wherever you are on your journey, know that the Eternal God longs to romance you as His precious love. Know that He desires a relationship with you that would make your heart skip a beat and your spirit blush with pleasure. Know that His touch is more fulfilling than any human touch can be, and know that He longs to draw you close to Him, as His beloved. From someone who is only beginning to understand: there is a child-like wonder in knowing even a portion of how dear you are to the heart of God. Please be open to Him, to His touch, His voice, His love. Know that with every heartbeat, He longs for you to share your pain, your past, your pride, and He longs to provide for you in ways that you may never imagine. He is all the healer, provider, protector, lover, father, friend, counselor, and comfort you will ever need, and the very heart of Him longs, with aching desire, to be the fulfillment of you, in this and every moment.

With love,
L~

When God calls, "Come out and play!"

I heard Him, today. Plain as the lightning that flashed across the sky. "My Princess, come out and play with me!" I went out on my balcony and I listened and watched as the cloudburst rolled through. The thunder and the lightning tripped through the clouds as my Papa God invited me to join Him for a romp in the rain. I stood and watched, fascinated as the rain dripped around me. I cried out to Him, inside my heart, and I asked Him for the strength and the opportunity to answer His invitations in the affirmative.

Do you ever get flashes of insight into Who God is? I had one of those flashes, while I stood on the balcony, almost in a storm. I saw God as the precious child who runs to a close friend and says, "Can you come out to play?" The problem is that so many other voices are drowning out the still, small voice of the God of the universe, and so often, the answer we give Him, when we take the time to answer at all, is "Not right now, I'm busy." How very sad! He created us to be in relationship with HIM and with each other, but we're too busy, running our lives, to hear His calls. He does call to us. He seeks us where we are. He invites us to join Him in an adventure that would blow our socks off. And when we say, "No, not right now, God." He simply says, "Alright. I'll wait. I'll wait until you hit crisis mode and you need me. I'll wait until you think the time is right. I created time, and I can put you on a schedule that is much more productive, but I understand that you don't have time for Me. You don't have time for me? OK, then." And we go about our busy days... staying busy, struggling to be productive, wondering why everything doesn't fit the way we think it should, getting frustrated, wearing down, burning out.

And every once in awhile, God gently interrupts. He softly whispers into our hearts, "Hey. I'm still here. Would now work for you?" And if we hear Him at all, if we've not drowned Him out for so long that we can't even hear His voice any longer, we say, "I'm sorry, God, but I'm on deadline. I have to finish this report before COB, and then I've got to get to a doctor's appointment, run 3 errands, get home and get supper on the stove while I'm putting laundry in the dryer..." and our mental list takes over, and we cease to speak to our Father as we transition back into busy. He knows. He understands. He sees the strain on us, and He longs to take it from us. He longs to help us carry the load. He longs to flex His power over time and task to help us do all that's important, but instead of intruding, uninvited and unaccepted, into our daily lives, He simply waits outside, and calls to us to "Come out and play!"

Perhaps you've heard Him. It may not have been today, and it may not have been in the rain on your window, but perhaps at some point, you've heard the gentle voice in your heart inviting you into a relationship, inviting you on an adventure. You see, little children have big imaginations. They were created in the image of God, and they haven't learned yet that they need to grow up in the image of the current Cosmo girl or GQ guy, model or sports hero, pop princess or superstar... they haven't learned that yet. What do they do with these imaginings? They make up "imaginary" friends or "imaginary" siblings. My three-year-old niece has a "big brother" named Archibald. (Where was she when I named my "imaginary" friends? I'm not even going to share what I came up with...) What do they do with these friends? Well, they go out and play. They make up adventures, and then they go on them. There is nothing too outlandish that they cannot imagine it to be so. Where do they get these amazing imaginations? Could it be from the One who Created us all to be in relationship, to answer the call to come out and play, to step outside of the little comfortable boxes we create for ourselves and let Him accompany us on the greatest, most amazing adventures that HE can dream for us? Possibly... Maybe... Perhaps.

And you say, "But God wouldn't ask me to forsake my priorities. He wouldn't tempt me to enjoy the weather instead of working in a cube when I have an obligation to work. God doesn't work like that. He wants us to be serious and be grown-ups. You can't 'play' with God. You have to go to church or pray or something with God. You can't just 'be' with Him." If that's your answer to this, then I'm very sorry, but we aren't serving the same God!! My God created beautiful weather, and it wasn't to tempt us away from important things. Who says that what you think is important truly is, anyway? If you died tonight, tomorrow someone else would finish your reports, because you are expendable at work. My God created work, and He provides us with the ability to create priorities. Are your priorities straight? Have you checked with HIM to make sure He thinks so, too? What on your list outweighs your relationship with Eternal God? What is more important than answering His call? Certainly not the phone conversation, the email, the paperwork, the deadlines, eating, drinking, or sleeping... What is so gall-blasted important that you have the nerve to be too busy for GOD? You see, God created laughter and tears. When was the last time you laughed out of uninhibited joy? When was the last time you cried an honest tear? If He created us in His image, then shouldn't He understand? Shouldn't He get to weigh in on your priorities? Shouldn't He get acknowledgment every once in awhile? When was the last time that you noticed, appreciated, and thanked God for the weather? When was the last time that you watched the sun set or the moon rise? When was the last time that you shared your lunch with your "imaginary" friend and giggled over something that no one else would understand? When was the last time you answered the call to "come out and play"?

My prayer for you, today, is that you will hear the voice outside your window, and that you will make it a priority to "come out and play" with God when you do.

Much love.
L~

Rom... what, now?

Ah... spring! The birds are blooming, the flowers are blowing, and the breeze is singing a soft romantic tune-- or something like that.

(OH-- Side note. There was this really obnoxious bird noise coming from the trees in front of the hospital, when my family came out in the evening, one day last week. It was the most incredible thing. Dad said he hadn't heard anything like that since he was in Africa. Turns out it was just a recording to scare the birds away from the parking lot, but I thought it was pretty nifty. I want one on my balcony. I also want a remote-control, dive-bombing bird so that I can inflict terror into the hearts of the smokers that stand outside and blow carcinogenic smoke into my apartment. :D )

So, what is romance, anyway, and why do we want it? What is it within us that cries out for someone to pick us out of a crowd and shower us with candlelight and roses? (Or daisies and a picnic, or granola and a hike, or whatever variations thereof) I have some theories, but I want to hear from you. Faithful readers, please enlighten me with your views. :)

Much love.
L~

Media Blitz and the Proper Response

OK, so everybody knows about the Virginia Tech shootings. Lots of people have opinions about what's going on with all that. Here's my take...

The media is propagating this cycle. Essentially, the media is telling every nut-job that has nothing to live for and wants his 15 minutes that he can go out in a blaze of media glory by committing a gruesome act of violence. They're also telling him that the best place to commit his murder/suicide is on a school campus, because there will be much more hype, and very little resistance. (I'll save my thoughts on "gun control" and security for another time... or you can read the post from 10 April, entitled On Sheep, Wolves, and Sheep Dogs.)

My problem isn't that they're reporting the story, it's that they're salivating over it. The war is on to see which network can out-hype the others, and whatever pathetic attempts at emotion they show are obvious plays for viewership (and preferably awards) and not anything genuine.

I think it's great that we live in a country where we have a free media. I think that it's the American way, and I think that it's good and right. Media outlets must self-govern, however, and they don't even try to do it, most of the time. Just because you CAN make everything into a circus doesn't mean you SHOULD. Somewhere, someone should have the good taste to say, "Hey, not only are we stomping on the memories of those who lost their lives, but we're also making the whole thing much more likely to happen again." Unfortunately, "media" and "good taste" don't belong in the same sentence.

Here's my message-- because I KNOW you want it so badly... haha-- turn off the TV and internet, put down the newspapers and magazines, and actually spend some time with the people you'd miss if they were suddenly removed from your life. Call home, just to tell your family you love them. Thank a soldier for the freedoms we possess. Be more kind to those around you. Give someone the benefit of the doubt, even when your first instinct is to assume the worst. Stop living in a virtual maze, and go outside to get some fresh air. Don't take life for granted. It is ALTOGETHER too short, whether you get shot or not. Ultimately, you're not going to wish you'd spent more time playing video games. Make an impact in someone's life-- a positive one-- so that when you die, they will have benefited from the fact that you decided to really LIVE.

Much love.
L~

Find or Be Found?

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”
~Proverbs 18:22

“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” ~Proverbs 31:10-12

I think that those two scriptures bring us to a point that most women miss. That we are to be FOUND. Flushing out game is not the same thing as being found by it. Trussing up a man and throwing him over your shoulder to fireman’s carry him down the aisle is not the same as being found by him.

Too often, women get impatient and decide that “NOW is the time that I need true love, so I’m going to go out and hunt down some poor sucker to marry me”… and then they wonder why their husbands resent them and their marriages don’t work. She’s unhappy because she has to do all the work in the relationship, and he’s unhappy because he didn’t get to be the one to pursue her—in fact, he’s not even sure that he would have pursued HER. She denies him the blessing he would receive for having found a good thing, and she is something less than the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31.

Psalms 37 says “Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him:”

It’s fairly clear that God has our best interests at heart. Unfortunately, our culture bombards us with messages about Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. It teaches us that we have to look out for ourselves. It tells us that women are “equal” to men, though by “equal” it means that women should do anything that men do with utter disregard for the fact that women and men are completely different. It tells us that it’s OK for the woman to be the pursuer in the relationship and that it’s “old-fashioned” (this term is usually spat out, as though it’s a swear word) to allow yourself to be wooed by a man of valor. Of course, this is the same culture that teaches us that now isn’t soon enough, that immediate gratification takes too long, that relationships shouldn’t take any effort, and that if you get tired of the one you’ve got, you should just throw it away and get another one. Give your body to whomever you choose, but share your heart and soul with no one. Babies are “in” this year, but once they get over the cute baby stage (or once they start interfering with your career or social life), you can send them off to day care where they can be taught values you don’t share by total strangers. Good plan. Is it any wonder that the American family is broken, bleeding, and dying?

It begins with a guy who never learned to be a man and the woman who hunted him down and mounted him over the fireplace as her trophy, and it ends in a lack of trust and respect, disillusionment, children who know their teachers and day care providers better than their moms and dads, pain, unhappiness, and divorce. Where is the blessing of God on the families of America? It’s stolen by the women who refuse to allow men to be men and FIND them, as God intended.

Much Love.

L~

It might be supposed that a measure of how unhealthy a relationship is might be reflected in the way you feel when the relationship is over. If you feel as though a burden has been lifted, and you feel a great sense of relief that you no longer need to feel obligated to try... perhaps the relationship was one you no longer needed, and maybe, just maybe, it was detrimental to you. If someone treats you poorly consistently, yet you feel obligated to stick around because EVERYBODY else can't stand to be around the individual and you're the only person who puts up with it-- that MIGHT be a signal that there's a problem. Fortunately, as is the case for me, today, you may be spared from having to end the relationship, due to the fact that the individual in question goes off the deep end and has her mother send you hate (and hateful) emails.

Perhaps this is a judgement of my character, but the way I feel right now is a mixture of sadness, relief, sorrow, and joy.

Lord, please touch the friends that are friends no more. Reach into their lives and show them Your plan for them. Please, bless and keep them and provide them with influences that will bring them closer to You and make them stronger. Protect them from the influences that seek to destroy them, and guide them in the Way Everlasting. Thank you for protecting our hearts, even in the ends of long-time friendships. Amen.

May your friends be close to you today, and may your relationships be blessed with love, understanding, and, most of all, kindness.

Much Love.
L~

On Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs

I've read this article several times, and I wanted to post it on here.

The Source

By LTC (RET) Dave Grossman, author of "On Killing."

Honor never grows old, and honor rejoices the heart of age. It does so because honor is, finally, about defending those noble and worthy things that deserve defending, even if it comes at a high cost. In our time, that may mean social disapproval, public scorn, hardship, persecution, or as always,even death itself. The question remains: What is worth defending? What is worth dying for? What is worth living for? - William J. Bennett - in a lecture to the United States Naval Academy November 24, 1997

One Vietnam veteran, an old retired colonel, once said this to me:
"Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident." This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another. Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.

Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin's egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers, and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful. For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.

"Then there are the wolves," the old war veteran said, "and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy." Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

"Then there are sheepdogs," he went on, "and I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf."

If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed

Let me expand on this old soldier's excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial, that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids' schools.

But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid's school. Our children are thousands of times more likely to be killed or seriously injured by school violence than fire, but the sheep's only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their child is just too hard, and so they chose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, can not and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheep dog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn't tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, "Baa."

Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog.

The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them. This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door.

Look at what happened after September 11, 2001 when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America, more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Remember how many times you heard the word hero?

Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed right along with the young ones.

Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference." When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

There is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, but he does have one real advantage. Only one. And that is that he is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population. There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory crimes of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I'm proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury, New Jersey. Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When he learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd dropped his phone and uttered the words, "Let's roll," which authorities believe was a signal to the other passengers to confront the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers - athletes, business people and parents. -- from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men. - Edmund Burke

Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn't have a choice. But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision.

If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love. But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior's path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

For example, many officers carry their weapons in church. They are well concealed in ankle holsters, shoulder holsters or inside-the-belt holsters tucked into the small of their backs. Anytime you go to some form of religious service, there is a very good chance that a police officer in your congregation is carrying. You will never know if there is such an individual in your place of worship, until the wolf appears to massacre you and your loved ones.

I was training a group of police officers in Texas, and during the break, one officer asked his friend if he carried his weapon in church. The other cop replied, "I will never be caught without my gun in church." I asked why he felt so strongly about this, and he told me about a cop he knew who was at a church massacre in Ft. Worth, Texas in 1999. In that incident, a mentally deranged individual came into the church and opened fire, gunning down fourteen people. He said that officer believed he could have saved every life that day if he had been carrying his gun. His own son was shot, and all he could do was throw himself on the boy's body and wait to die. That cop looked me in the eye and said, "Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?"

Some individuals would be horrified if they knew this police officer was carrying a weapon in church. They might call him paranoid and would probably scorn him. Yet these same individuals would be enraged and would call for "heads to roll" if they found out that the airbags in their cars were defective, or that the fire extinguisher and fire sprinklers in their kids' school did not work. They can accept the fact that fires and traffic accidents can happen and that there must be safeguards against them.

Their only response to the wolf, though, is denial, and all too often their response to the sheepdog is scorn and disdain. But the sheepdog quietly asks himself, "Do you have and idea how hard it would be to live with yourself if your loved ones attacked and killed, and you had to stand there helplessly because you were unprepared for that day?"

It is denial that turns people into sheep. Sheep are psychologically destroyed by combat because their only defense is denial, which is counterproductive and destructive, resulting in fear, helplessness and horror when the wolf shows up.

Denial kills you twice. It kills you once, at your moment of truth when you are not physically prepared: you didn't bring your gun, you didn't train. Your only defense was wishful thinking. Hope is not a strategy. Denial kills you a second time because even if you do physically survive, you are psychologically shattered by your fear helplessness and horror at your moment of truth.

Gavin de Becker puts it like this in Fear Less, his superb post-9/11 book, which should be required reading for anyone trying to come to terms with our current world situation: "...denial can be seductive, but it has an insidious side effect. For all the peace of mind deniers think they get by saying it isn't so, the fall they take when faced with new violence is all the more unsettling."

Denial is a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract written entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying person knows the truth on some level.

And so the warrior must strive to confront denial in all aspects of his life, and prepare himself for the day when evil comes. If you are warrior who is legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that the bad man will not come today. No one can be "on" 24/7, for a lifetime. Everyone needs down time. But if you are authorized to carry a weapon, and you walk outside without it, just take a deep breath, and say this to yourself...

"Baa."

This business of being a sheep or a sheep dog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-sand-sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between. Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors, and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. The degree to which you move up that continuum, away from sheephood and denial, is the degree to which you and your loved ones will survive, physically and psychologically at your moment of truth.