- I am the only one who does them.
- My darling husband looks at me blankly when I mention them.
- He actually tells me that he's waiting on me to do them.
|Ignore bad handwriting. And water spots on my bathroom sink.|
And terrible photography.
But in all fairness, there are things that only he can do, too. Not because I'm incapable of doing them, necessarily, although that is the case regarding things that my current level of education/knowledge doesn't cover.
Like automobile repairs. I could probably learn how to do that stuff, but it's not my thing, and it is his thing. Sometimes it's because I'm forbidden to do them, on pain of stink eye.
- I am not allowed to take out the trash. I'm capable of this, and if it needs to be done, occasionally I'll do it just to get it done. But, and here's the really wonderful thing about my darling husband, I'm not allowed to. So I get the "that's my job" speech, while he gives me the stink eye, and takes the garbage can out of my hand and empties it. He actually prefers that I tell him that a trash can needs to be emptied, rather than emptying it myself. Isn't he a dream boat?
- I'm not allowed to mow the lawn. Or run the weedeater. Not because I can't do those activities. When I was single, I did them. Because they're in his domain. Not my problem. He doesn't want me doing those tasks. He doesn't even want me thinking about them. His domain. I am allowed to help with weeding, plant watering, etc., and occasionally, we'll do outdoor, lawn, or garden projects together. But he runs the yard.
- Only I can purchase toilet paper. Way back in the day, when I was single, I got hooked on soft,
My new TP holder that my darling husband installed for me.
It pivots on a hinge instead of doing the squeezy bar thing.
I love it.
- Only I can make doctor appointments. My darling husband tells me that the moment we were wed, his brain dumped all of the information and ability it had to locate new medical service providers, therefore, if I don't find him a doctor, he won't have one. We moved to Kansas from South Carolina almost a year and a half ago. We're due for checkups, dental cleanings, glasses prescription adjustments, etc. He claims complete ignorance (while calling it "delegation") of what to do to find these professionals. So, I'm finally getting around to doing that. We're still in a standoff over who makes the appointments, which I will explain.
- I, as you may know, occupy the far, hermit-end of the introvert spectrum. Talking on the phone is anathema, unless there is a really good reason to do so. Also, the really good reason must be on my end. Answering calls from numbers I don't recognize is the technological equivalent of picking up a hitchhiker. Now that I'm no longer required to answer by an employer, it's never gonna happen. Also, I keep my voicemail full, so that I don't have to worry about ever getting new messages and having to deal with them. I carry a smart phone. I text. I use it to google stuff so I don't have to actually converse with anyone. There are apps for all kinds of things. It is a phone call prevention device in my hand. I'm available via multiple routes on my phone that don't involve talking to anyone. YAY for technology! I need to find us doctors who allow appointment scheduling via website, app, or text. Hmmmm... Surely doctors do that now. Right?
- He, as you may not know, will go to an appointment, if I make it. But he will not go out of his way to subject his body to regular maintenance. When we got married, I made appointments for him to have a medical checkup, an optometry appointment, and all of his dental care/prevention/and repair. He hadn't gotten around to these things for some time. I found the doctor. I found the optometrist. I found the dentist. I made the appointments. He went. The thing is that he has the schedule of meetings for his work, and I don't, so I'm going to use that as a reason for him to make his own phone calls. So there.
|Of course, he takes excellent care|
of the yard.
Co-dependence is really working out for me.
P. S. Of course, my darling husband is an adult, and he is perfectly capable of all of the tasks that are necessary for his life and maintaining a household. He did them for years before I was ever around. He just chooses to allow me to add value to his life. I don't mean to give the impression that he is a bumbling fool without his obnoxious wife keeping him going. He's amazing, talented, capable, generous, and kind. But he lets me think that I'm helping, and that makes me feel good. :)