09 July 2007

What a difference a year makes!

I recently decided to re-read a book I read about a year ago, titled “Every Woman’s Battle” by Shannon Ethridge. It’s one of several similarly-named books. (“Every Man’s Battle” was the first, and this one, “Every Young Man’s Battle”, “Every Young Woman’s Battle”, etc. came out subsequently.) I have recommended it to quite a few people, and I’ve even purchased the applicable book for a couple of friends to give them as gifts. I decided to read it again, because I wanted to remember some of the specific things she had said in the book, and I was glad that I did. The thing that struck me, though, was the fact that my perspective this time was completely different than the perspective I had a year ago. There were several portions of the book that I had underlined last year that didn’t mean much to me this time, and there were others that I underlined this time that hadn’t hit me as significant, previously. I was amazed at the difference in my spiritual life, in retrospect. I was excited by the growth I’ve experienced. I was saddened by my past thought- and spiritual- life, and I am extremely grateful for the grace God gives us in our brokenness.

Something I found myself pondering was this: Our brokenness, sinfulness, filth, unfaithfulness, and all of the worst parts of us are not revealed to us in their entirety, all at once. I am VERY glad about this, because I think that, had all of my misery hit me at once, I would have been crushed by the weight of it all.

Instead, God chooses to enlighten us in pieces. He allows us to work through/past all our painful experiences and choices in shards, and when we’re ready for the next piece, it’s revealed—in HIS time. This is a blessing of immeasurable worth~ that God knows our weaknesses and our humanity and He makes concessions for the limits we carry. He could choose to just strike us down in our sin, our pride, our pain, but instead He lovingly holds us until the sobs and the lashing out and the bitterness subside. All He asks is that we step ever closer to the image of Christ in ourselves, and never does He chide us for not being where we think we should be on that path. Instead, He offers us all the love in existence, in each moment of each day, no matter where it finds us, and He allows us to be romanced by our Creator at the speed our frail forms can handle.

Wherever you are on your journey, know that the Eternal God longs to romance you as His precious love. Know that He desires a relationship with you that would make your heart skip a beat and your spirit blush with pleasure. Know that His touch is more fulfilling than any human touch can be, and know that He longs to draw you close to Him, as His beloved. From someone who is only beginning to understand: there is a child-like wonder in knowing even a portion of how dear you are to the heart of God. Please be open to Him, to His touch, His voice, His love. Know that with every heartbeat, He longs for you to share your pain, your past, your pride, and He longs to provide for you in ways that you may never imagine. He is all the healer, provider, protector, lover, father, friend, counselor, and comfort you will ever need, and the very heart of Him longs, with aching desire, to be the fulfillment of you, in this and every moment.

With love,

1 comment:

Amy said...

Thanks for sharing your heart L~ and indeed... we are learning some of the same things right now. Too bad we can't get together for coffee and have a nice long chat!