At this point I feel obliged to mention a man I met nearly a month ago. The reason I feel obliged to mention him is that he has done a remarkable thing. Dirv has changed my life. "How has Dirv changed your life?" you might ask... Well, he asked me questions and expected honesty of me. He asked me HARD questions, and expected honesty of me that I haven't even given myself. The thing about that is, that when I was honest with him, I began seriously taking a look at things that I was too scared or lazy to deal with, or things that I was hoping would just go away or resolve themselves if I ignored them.
In the process of being honest with Dirv, I was reminded to be honest with myself, and in being honest with myself, I have learned a lot about accepting the Grace of God in dealing with myself. As a direct result of Dirv's gentle questions, the lines of communication between God and I that had gotten... a little rusty-- shall we say?-- have been re-opened, and I am more able to hear God's voice. Now, I have to say that things aren't done yet, but they're in the process. This process brings me to the subject of this particular blog entry-- the lost mitten/glove.
My junior year of college, my brother and sister-in-law gave me plane tickets for my birthday so that I could spend Thanksgiving with my mother's youngest sister and her husband in Nevada City, CA. While I was there, my Aunt Eva and I went shopping in Nevada City, in some of the little tourist shops. In one of these shops, I found something for which I had been searching for a couple of years-- mitten/gloves. They're gloves with no tips on the fingers, and mitten-tops that can either cover the ends of the fingers (so it looks like you're wearing regular mittens) or not (so you have use of individual fingers). I LOVE these things, especially now that I'm in DC and commute via public transit.
I'm a reader, as you probably already know if you're reading this, and one of my goals for this year is to read at least 52 books. My primary reading time is on my commute. These mitten/gloves are perfect because they keep my hands warm, but they leave my fingertips free, when necessary, for turning pages. Have you ever tried to turn pages in a book with cold fingers? with gloves on? with mittens on? These remarkable inventions make all of those pesky little problems disappear! It's magic!
This morning I left my apartment with 2 mitten/gloves. When I arrived at work, I had one. I was incredibly annoyed. I thought about my lost mitten/glove off and on throughout the day, thought of all the things I'd do to try to find it, fretted over it, groused about it to anyone who would listen, and even actively tried to find it by retracing my steps. I have not found my missing mitten/glove. (I intend to ask my bus driver in the morning, stop in the TSA building to see if anyone turned it in there, and if worse comes to worst, buy a new pair.)
Tonight while I was out on the sidewalk searching the area where I'd waited for my bus, I very distinctly heard Jesus whisper in my ear, "How important is your missing mitten/glove to you?" To which I responded, "Well, pretty important, since I'm out here looking for it, at night, on the street (dressed in black from the neck down, waiting to get hit by a car)..." and then amended to include, "but not as important as You are, or at least should be..." He immediately reminded me that "You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13-- yes, Lucas, just 2 verses past the one we were talking about on Tuesday)
So, my question is this: How important is what you're seeking? Is it important enough that you're seeking it with all your heart? Do you have the same guarantee that God is willing to provide-- the guarantee that you will find it?
Just thought I should ask. So, I owe a "thank you" to Dirv for helping to point me to the place where I can hear the voice of Jesus in my ear; I owe an apology to the God of the Universe for neglecting to ask Him to help in my mitten/glove search (something that's been remedied) and trusting Him to take care of it; and I owe an eternal debt of gratitude to the One who was willing to seek me out and patiently await my response even when I was trying to not be found.
The moral of today's story: Next time you lose something, do two things. Let God handle the search and rescue (because He already knows exactly where it is and the best way for you to find it), and make sure that your search for God is what you're putting your heart into, not any other search.
Have a good night, all!
P.S. In case you're wondering, even if I don't get my mitten/glove back, I'm certain that God will put it to better use than I could... maybe it's on the right hand of a homeless person whose left was amputated, or softening the nest of a squirrel... who knows? Either way, it's not my problem anymore. :)